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Title: Mirror Magic The day it first happened, Severus Snape was, as usual, standing in front of the mirror after a shower. He was, as usual, attempting to convince himself that he was desirable, despite the sallowness of his skin, the potions stains on his hands, his thinness, and greasy hair, and above all his age. As usual, it was not working. He ran his hands slowly down his chest, along his stomach, down the narrow blades of his hips, letting the hands curve outward as they reached their maximum distance from his shoulders, letting them come to rest at last on the outside of his thighs. His nose twitched slightly as he surveyed his body. He almost turned to leave, but then he noticed something: the fog-repelling charm had stopped working on the upper left corner of the mirror. Grabbing for his dressing gown, he reached into a pocket and took out his wand. Then he glanced back at the mirror and stopped. Clearly traced in the clouded portion, as if by a finger, were the words, Oh don't stop. Severus raised an eyebrow. It was a nice show. The words slowly fogged over again. Severus shook his head to clear it and started to put the robe on. I said, don't stop. Severus froze. Oh, all right. I think that's enough for today. We'll continue tomorrow, hmm? The mirror cleared much too quickly for Severus's tastes, and nothing more appeared. Severus stared at the inanimate mirror for a second more, then grabbed his wand and checked his wards in a flurry of movement. There was no kind of breach whatsoever. How was such a spell possible? Just to be safe, he cast a simple secondary ward around the bathroom. Then he got dressed and headed to the staff meeting. "Severus," Lupin said, inclining his head, when Snape walked in. "Remus," Severus replied. "Snape," Potter said flatly from the corner of the room, where he was pouring a cup of coffee. Not bothering to reply, Severus sat down next to Lupin. "How are your classes?" Lupin asked. "Positively delightful." "That bad?" "No, he's just being snarky," Potter said, moving to sit down on Lupin's other side. The door opened and closed without seeming to admit a person; Severus was not surprised when Flitwick's head appeared above the table across from them. It was always amusing that Flitwick was taller seated than standing. "Good day!" he said with a smile that crinkled his eyes. "Oh, Potter, is that coffee?" "It's trying to be." "Good, good!" Flitwick said. "Can you pour me a mug? I'm afraid I'm having some difficulty getting on and off of this chair...ah! Thank you, dear boy!" Potter got up and went back to his corner, and Lupin tried to be conversational again. "Any promising Potions students?" "No more than any other year. And most of those don't care, whether or not they have talent." He spared another glare in Potter's direction. Speaking of wasted talent... Minerva made her entrance. "Oh, good! Four already. Though I don't doubt certain of our members will be late again..." She sniffed in a direction that Severus thought was the North Tower. "Harry, is that coffee? Wonderful! Could you pour me a cup, please?" "No tea today, Minerva?" Potter asked. "No, not today. I have tea with some Ministry officials later, and I'd like to be able to drink some. Ah, thank you." She took the mug, sipped, made a face. "I thought you said this was coffee." "That's what I thought, too," Potter said darkly. "Who made this mess, anyway?" On cue, Hooch walked through the door. "Some of the coffee's left? Excellent! Harry, could you pour me a cup? You're closest..." She flopped into a chair. "First years should never be given brooms without proper screening. I had a head-on collision today. A head-on collision!" Potter handed her a mug. "Thanks. You're still one of the only first years I've ever seen that could actually handle a broom." She took a drink of the coffee, then leaned back in her chair. "That's perfect." Minerva and Flitwick exchanged horrified glances, which Hooch did not apparently notice. "Oh, Mr Potter?" Snape asked, as soon as Potter had sat down.. "Could you perhaps pour me a mug? Since you're so close..." Potter shot him a gratifyingly black look before getting up yet again. "Coffee!" Cook said as he came into the room. "Yours, Xiomara?" "Yesssss," Hooch said blissfully. "Good..." He wandered over in the general direction of the countertop holding the coffee pot, bits of twig showing from under his dark blond hair. He was carrying on Sprout's legacy rather nicely. "Oh! Harry. Hello. Didn't see you. Did you want some coffee?" He set out two mugs and poured; Severus silently cursed him to nineteen different kinds of Hell. "It was for Professor Snape, actually, Alexander." "Ah! Splendid." He took the mugs and moved to the table, oblivious. "Here you go, Severus," he said, sitting down next to him. "Thank you," Severus said with as much venom as he could muster. Alexander didn't seem to notice. "Coffee?" said Hypatia, entering the room. "Xiomara, did you make it?" "Yes," chorused Flitwick, Minerva, and Potter. Hypatia carefully blanked her face and said, "I think I'll skip it, then." She sat down next to Flitwick and gave Severus an apologetic glance. Maria came bustling into the room, looking, as usual, annoyingly plump and cheerful, if a bit rushed. "I found out why your equations for the movements of Denebola are off," she said breathlessly, plunking herself down in the chair next to the Hypatia. "I—oh, Severus, you might like this—you see, you were using completely the wrong epoch, you really ought to get the latest Astronomical Handbook, I don't care if Muggles made it..." "You're into Arithmancy?" Lupin asked, interested. "That was one of my favourite classes when I was a student. Before the lovely Professor Vector came, of course." Hypatia was ignoring him, so the comment was rather lost. "I don't remember you being in my class, though." "I had Arithmancy with the Ravenclaws. Since I didn't take the N.E.W.T. level course, we never would have had the class together." "I see," said Lupin. There were only five people that Severus could think of who had the intelligence and skill needed to cast a spell complex enough to get past his wards. Anyone outside the school was exempt, of course; it would be far too difficult to get through the general Hogwarts wards. Within the school, Lupin was the most likely, but too honest; no Gryffindor would invade someone's privacy that way. Hypatia and Maria both could cast such a spell, but they were too wrapped up with each other—not that either would ever admit it. Minerva fell into the Gryffindor category; besides, Severus rather thought she was still upset over Albus's sudden retirement, even if she didn't talk about it. As though the staff had missed the reason why Albus had developed a late-in-life interest in tartan dressing gowns. And that left Flitwick, which Severus didn't even want to think about. Besides, Severus rather thought the words on the mirror were too...strident, too demanding, for a female. They seemed masculine, which meant the writer was probably masculine as well. To be entirely honest, Severus was relieved. He could deal with men seeing his body; the thought of a woman viewing him nude was vaguely disturbing. Perhaps it was a student. That would make things easy. Pretend to turn them down flat, and maybe pursue a few quick shags after N.E.W.T.s and before the student left Hogwarts. It had been known to happen, though not to him. Lupin was saying something again; Severus shook himself back to reality. "What was that, Remus?" "I said thanks for agreeing to take over my class when I'm...indisposed. You're really the best for the job, and it's a relief to know my students will be taken care of." "I'd say it's my pleasure, but I won't lie." He ignored the boyish snort that erupted from Lupin's other side. "Of course," Lupin said, looking a bit confused. Muggle Studies and Ancient Runes had appeared during his reverie; he'd never bothered to learn their names, since they didn't live at the castle, nor were their subjects of any academic or personal interest to him. When Argus walked in, Minerva apparently deemed the staff complete enough to begin the meeting. Severus apathetically endured the following forty-five minutes of administrative jargon, new curriculum decisions, and disciplinary discussions. Typically, the problem students were Slytherins. Not that the other houses didn't get in trouble; but obviously, non-Slytherin students didn't have bad motives, they just didn't quite understand the rules, and could be forgiven. The Slytherins were all evil, of course. It was enough to make Severus spit. Or sneer. Repeatedly. Which he did. "So, Severus, if I could discuss with you sometime the class plans I'd like you to cover...?" Lupin asked after the meeting was done. "As you wish," Severus said. "Tomorrow, during my office hours?" "That's fine." Lupin smiled. "Talk to you then." "Indeed," Severus replied, and went back to the now dubious sanctuary of his rooms. After more consideration, Severus had decided that the mirror incident was simply a practical joke played by one of the older students, perhaps Hermione Granger's unfortunate successor, Leland Lyon. Very few people would actually desire him for his body, and even fewer for his personality. So it came as quite a surprise when his mysterious voyeur reappeared the next day. You know, I thought you were a eunuch for a long time. Severus jumped and raised an eyebrow. It just didn't seem like the disgusting, sarcastic Snape could have a libido. "Well, thank you very much," Severus said. Oh, I'm glad I was proven wrong. I don't suppose you'd like to jerk off for me? "I don't think so," Snape said, incredulous. I thought not. Maybe later. Just a bit of a show of getting dressed, then? The mirror defogged. Snape reached for his dressing gown and donned it quickly. The left portion of the mirror fogged over again. Well, that wasn't much of a show. I didn't leave, I just turned off the communication spell. I let the audio and visual coming from your end stay active. Don't like to waste my energy; I'd rather have it for other...pursuits. Snape rubbed his temple and walked out of the bathroom. Perhaps the voyeur would be gone by the next time he went to shower. He got dressed quickly, as Lupin was due to arrive. Uncharacteristically, however, Lupin was late. "So sorry," he said when he finally showed up at the door. "I was supervising a detention, and the girl decided she could, ah, put up with a bit more punishment." Snape snorted. "You've got one too?" "One what?" "A lustful student stalker." Lupin looked like he'd barely managed to hold a burst of laughter in. "You've got..." "Someone put a 'peeping tom' spell put on my mirror. I suspect Leland Lyon; he's the only one smart enough to pull off something like that." Severus paused. Lupin still didn't say anything. "What, afraid you'll burst out laughing if you open your mouth?" That wiped the smirk of Lupin's lips. "Uh, no, just trying to imagine someone stalking you. I hope you'll turn them down as fast as I turned down my, uh, stalker." "I don't doubt I will," Severus said. "Entirely inappropriate." "Entirely," Lupin agreed, a bit too quickly. "Now. You wanted to talk to me about what I'll have to teach your class?" "Yes." Lupin looked into the room. "I don't suppose I could come in?" "Oh. Yes." Severus stepped back and held the door open. Lupin took Severus's favourite chair and ignored the glare he earned, so Severus was forced onto the sofa. "Well, we're lucky that the full moon is a Thursday night, so I should only be out for Friday, Monday at the very latest. Friday I've got third and fourth years plus the seventh-year N.E.W.T. class. They should be easy—just let them hex and counter-hex each other, and watch for Miss Harrington, she's fond of the Castratus. The third-years are on Boggarts, but we've already dispelled one in class, so perhaps some in-class reading. The fourth years are just starting work on more advanced curses, and a practicum might be best. How does that sound?" "Like you don't want me assigning werewolf papers," Severus said. Lupin flushed. "Well, they all know now, don't they?" "Indeed. And what if they're not capable of controlling the hexes?" Smiling pleasantly, Lupin said, "I'm sure you can figure something out, Severus." "I'm sure," Severus said darkly. "Well, I suppose I'll just see myself out. Till later, Severus?" Severus inclined his head, and Lupin nodded back and left. For a moment, Severus entertained the notion that Lupin was his stalker. A female admirer? Really. Lupin was as gay as a Kneazle in a field of catnip. Terrifying the first-years was truly one of Severus's most enjoyable pastimes. "You are in this class to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion-making. As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will not believe this is magic, and will be the worse for it. I don't expect you will truly understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses...I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death—if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I must usually teach," Severus said, swooping around the room. He'd almost perfected the speech after more than twenty years of teaching. To distract himself from remembering his age, he surveyed the students. Slytherin appeared to have a female centre of gravity this year; one of the younger Parkinson cousins, if Severus wasn't mistaken, although she had hair that was almost strawberry-blonde. Her parents probably had a fit and thought she was a Weasley. Gryffindor was its usual gaggle of unassociated groups. Without a Potter to torment, Severus was able to spread his sarcasm evenly and thus annoy the entire House. After a good hour of torturing, Severus let the class go. The Gryffindors fled; the Slytherins lingered a little, the ringleader casting fond glances at him. Well, as usual, he'd have a quarter of the student population that liked him. That was a higher fraction than any other group of people. Severus walked briskly down the corridor towards the Great Hall. He wanted to slip in unnoticed for lunch, as usual, and that was difficult to do when most of the students had arrived. Unsurprisingly, Potter was making things difficult; he was standing in the hall, having a perfectly lovely conversation with the Slytherin first-years' ringleader. Worse yet, it was about Quidditch. "Well, they graduated their Keeper this year, but you know they don't take first-years anyway." "They took you, though, didn't they?" she piped. "They didn't have any other Seeker. But as I was saying, one of the Beaters and two of the Chasers are seventh-years, and second-years can make the team, so just wait a year and maybe you'll make it. Okay?" "Thanks!" she said enthusiastically, and took her entourage off to the Great Hall. Severus realised he'd stopped to watch the exchange. "Ah, Severus!" Potter said, far too excited. "Just the wizard I wanted to talk to!" "How...fortunate," Severus said. "Yes. Miss Parkinson's really interested in Quidditch and I told her no first-years ever made it...but I was thinking, maybe I should put together a couple of mixed-House teams for younger players. So we don't have rusty players making the regular House teams. Anyway, I'd need your permission, so..." "Hogwarts is already obsessed with Quidditch, and you want to let the younger players try? On mixed-House teams?" Severus put on his best sneer. "I think not, Professor Potter." "Harry," Potter said ineffectually. "I think it would be a good experience. And if we only practised, say, once every two weeks, and perhaps four games throughout the year...it wouldn't distract the pupils from their studies. Besides, we could restrict it to, uh, first- and second-years only, they've all got extra time anyway. Wouldn't you rather have them playing Quidditch than tearing around at all hours?" "They won't be playing Quidditch at all hours," Severus said. Potter jumped on it. "So you'll let us, then?" "I did not agree. That was a hypothetical statement." "I see." The insolent man smiled triumphantly anyway. "But they'd be quite tired after Quidditch. They'd sleep better." "It didn't work with you," Severus pointed out. "Nothing worked with me," Harry retorted. "And why would you be doing this, rather than Madam Hooch?" They'd reached the Great Hall, and to Severus's chagrin, Potter sat directly next to him, rather than in his usual chair safely at the other end of the table. "She's got enough to do, with flying lessons and regular Quidditch. And I miss it, really. Transfiguration's wonderful, but I don't have too many discipline problems—they all remember Minerva—and there really aren't many students who need extra help, either. I've got too much time on my hands." "Still a discipline problem, even as a professor." Looking far too delighted, Potter asked, "Was that a joke?" "I was perfectly serious." "Oh." "Well, I will talk it over with Minerva and Xiomara and let you know later. Is that acceptable?" "Wonderful!" Severus attempted to stare at his plate and ignore his unfortunate tablemate to the best of his ability. "Oh, Severus?" Damn. "Thanks for taking over Remus's classes during the full moon. I would've done it, but I think he stills thinks of me as his student and he was nervous about my teaching." "Remus Lupin is not the kind of man to think that of you without evidence." "So...either I'm a liar or I'm incompetent?" "Did I say that?" Snape asked blandly. "Yes, I think you did." "As you wish." "I meant it, though. Thank you for doing this for him." "I'm delighted." Potter gave up the battle and turned to Maria for conversation. Severus paid attention only to his plate for the rest of the meal. Severus didn't hear from his voyeur again until the day the unfortunate Miss Harrington almost got him with the castration curse. He took his usual after-class shower a bit shakily, and was inspecting himself in the mirror just to be sure when the left-hand part of the mirror fogged over. Glad to see you're still intact. "News travels quickly," Severus said. Just the interesting kind. And let me assure you, the younger students are all amazed that you'd be worried about the family jewels. They all thought you never used them. "A fairly common misconception these days, it seems." I still don't know if you do. I assume you don't want to wank for me yet, though. "In front of a stranger? Hardly." Oh, let me assure you, Professor Snape, we are hardly strangers. "I can see no possible reason why I should perform lewd acts for you." Severus raised an eyebrow. Oh, I'd love to see it. Eyes glazed over with pleasure...mouth opening...moaning...the look on your face when you come... Severus ignored the interest his prick was showing in this narration. You're a very sexy man, you know. All that power, contained...I'd love to make you lose control. "You'd have a better chance if you actually talked to me, rather than stalking me like a scared little boy," Severus said. But would you talk to me otherwise? This isn't just a physical thing, or I wouldn't have let you know I was watching. "Yes, and your desire to see me masturbate is only because of the intense pleasure you derive from my conversation." Severus put on his dressing gown. "I'll thank you to leave me alone." Glad to see you're feeling better. The mirror cleared, and Severus left, annoyed. "Potter wants to start mixed-House Quidditch for first and second years," Severus told Minerva. "Mixed-House?" she asked. "So he says." "I would support a younger Quidditch league," Minerva said, "but not mixed-House. Tea?" "Please don't turn into Albus. Next you're going to start spouting 'diversity and goodwill' and I'll be out of here faster than I can spit." "Lemon drop?" Minerva said, managing to keep a straight face. Severus glared. "But I'm serious, Severus. Even practising together could be very good for relations between the Houses. And Harry has enough of all the Houses in him to keep every child happy." "Potter has nothing of Slytherin in him." Severus cursed himself when he noticed he'd taken a sip of tea anyway. "Perhaps you should ask him about that," Minerva said, and twinkled. "Minerva?" "Yes?" "You twinkled." "Always a man of tact, Severus." "Slytherin is nothing if not cunning," Severus said. "And what does Xiomara think of this plan?" "She's just happy to see Harry flying again; I think she's always been disappointed he didn't play professionally." "Indeed." Minerva looked speculatively out the window. The office had rearranged itself following Albus's departure, and apparently had picked up Minerva's passion for Quidditch; the main window now faced the pitch. "When does he propose to do this?" "Thursdays, every other week, before dinner. Matches in the longest intervals between House matches. He says he will award points for good sportsmanship, but none for playing quality, and the matches will not gain or lose points based on results." He paused. "Very...honourable of him." "Yes. He's really become quite an unbiased teacher, for all his Gryffindor tendencies." "I thought you said he had qualities of all our Houses?" "Yes, but his choices were always Gryffindor." Severus snorted slightly, but avoided the many comments he could make to that statement. "Will you agree to this plan, though?" "Of course, if the teams are separated by Houses. But the decision is really up to you." "I simply desired your opinion," Severus said, with a slight inclination of his head. "Of course, Severus." Minerva smiled. "Is that all, then?" "Quite." He stood. "Good day, Minerva." "Good day, Severus," she said. Severus turned and left the office, heading for Potter's usual lair. Being the perpetually difficult person he was, Potter was not in his office nor his classroom and he did not answer at his rooms. Severus left a note on Potter's office door, asking him to come to Severus's office at his earliest convenience. Twenty minutes later, Potter appeared at the door with an armful of books from the library. "Taking up scholarship in your old age, Potter?" Severus sneered. Potter stepped into the room. "Is there something I can help you with?" "You can have your Quidditch teams, if they're single-House," Severus said. "Thursdays, as requested. Madam Hooch wishes to see you flying again, so I suggest you coach from a broomstick." "Single-House? Hmm." Potter frowned. "I suppose it'll have to do. I hope I haven't lost my touch—in my old age, as you say." "You could probably fall off every five minutes and still be considered the greatest Seeker this school ever saw." Severus paused. "Actually, every five minutes might be an improvement." "Thanks," Potter said. He shifted the books on his hip. "Sorry I took so long; I had to sign these out." "Irma still worried you'll steal the Quidditch books?" "Don't use the library much, do you, Snape?" Potter asked. "No, I have sufficient references in my rooms, as you can see." Potter glanced around the room and nodded approvingly. "Well, as you obviously haven't figured out in twenty...five? Six?...years of working here, Irma has alerts set so no book can leave the library without being cleared by library staff—even if the person taking the book is a teacher. We just get a different colour of nasty-smelling fluid dumped on us at the door, and a rather lower-pitched scream." He grimaced. "You've really never tried to take a book out?" "Not under Irma. She only preceded your much-hailed arrival by two years, and by then, I had no more need of the library." "I see," Harry said, glancing around again. "The books there are generally useful only for those still at or below sixth form." "Quite," Harry said in the same tone of voice. He nodded towards the stack of books under his arm. "So, for instance, the Generalised Guide to Gramarye: Shields, Protections, and Other Defensive Magics would hold absolutely no interest for you?" Severus tried not to let his eyes widen too much. "I was not aware they kept the Generalised Guide here." "You can't even see the copies unless you've special clearance from Irma. She's really quite helpful. You should talk to her sometime." Potter glanced at the door, obviously anxious to be gone. "I think I shall," Severus said. Potter smiled. "Good." "That means you may go," Severus said, a bit more forcefully. Potter hefted the books again and headed out the door. Severus watched him go with a quirked eyebrow, feeling strangely like Potter had won a game Severus didn't even know they were playing. It took him several minutes to realise they hadn't even finalised plans for Potter's insane Quidditch idea. "Lupin? What are you doing here?" "Am I not allowed to visit?" He suddenly looked worried, as if this were a legitimate concern. "I thought you'd be happy to have someone to talk to...I never see anyone else down here." "You keep a close eye on my private rooms, then, Remus?" "No, I just...I never see anyone when I'm down here," he said, looking uncomfortable. "Which is quite frequent, I'm sure." "No, but...bloody hell, Severus, can't I just want to talk to you?" Severus reluctantly held the door open, and Lupin entered cautiously. "Please. Have a seat," Severus said, glaring. "Do you mind if I take the sofa? The chair last time gave me a sore back for two days." "I prefer the chair," Severus said. Lupin raised an eyebrow. "I find it suits me well." After a pause, Lupin said, "I see." "Can I offer you something to drink?" Severus asked "Oh, no, I'm fine, thanks." "Well, I need one." He walked over to the cabinet where he kept the pumpkin juice and spirits. He poured a glass of pumpkin juice; let Lupin think what he would. "I do have visitors fairly regularly. Hypatia Vector and Maria Sinistra are both frequent guests of mine." "Two women, Severus?" Lupin asked from where he'd folded himself onto the sofa. "The female mind is just as agile as the male, Remus. I'm surprised a noble Gryffindor would make such a comment." Severus took his chair and leaned slightly forward, anticipating a deliciously amusing argument. "I was simply referring to the fact that you didn't have any male visitors, and as that seems the type of...company you would prefer..." "Ah." Severus leaned back in disappointment. They waited. "That was an opening, Severus," Lupin finally said. "Obviously one I didn't want to take," Severus replied. "Ah. Well..." Lupin hesitated. "Oh, and thank you for allowing Harry's little Quidditch experiment. It will give him something to do, and he's so excited about it." "Since he obviously needs to be entertained," Severus said. He was surprised when Lupin nodded emphatically. "I worry about him here, with just us old men around. He really ought to be dating at his age, but I've never seen him with anyone." "What about the old women?" "They're not particularly to his taste, either." Severus took a split second to process this information. "So Potter also practises the love that dare not speak its name, then." "You didn't know?" "I hardly make it a point to know the private lives of the other teachers at this school." "You should." Lupin fixed him with a penetrating stare. "You really shouldn't keep yourself so lonely." "I enjoy solitude," Severus said. "Being solitary doesn't mean you can't talk to anybody." "With the quality of people I'm surrounded by, I find it the most enjoyable solution." Lupin started to speak, but Severus talked over him. "I don't need an intervention, Remus. If you wish to speak with me, find a topic I'm interested in discussing." "All right. I suppose I should probably be going, then." "I suppose so." Lupin stood and nodded in Severus's direction. "Till next time, then." He let himself out. Severus sniffed at the door and went to find a copy of the Generalised Guide to Gramarye: Potions, Unguents, And Other Physical-Process Magics, the only one of the set he owned. Oh, Professor Snape, you sexy bitch. Severus glared at the words; he hadn't even noticed the mirror fogging over first this time. "I thought I was rid of you." Well, you're not. And don't I even get a laugh? I was attempting to be witty. Severus cast through several different responses before deciding on, "Then you don't think I'm sexy." He looked balefully in the mirror, greasy wet hair hanging in his eyes. The mirror didn't respond. Severus put on his dressing gown and was about to walk out when more words appeared. Sorry, I was laughing too hard to speak. "Thank you," Severus said sarcastically. Oh, you're very sexy, I just didn't expect you to say it. Besides, you sounded...petulant. "I am a professor. I do not do petulant. And I don't understand how you could be laughing too hard to speak if you're writing." Have you heard of a Quick-Quotes Quill? "Please tell me you're not using a Quick-Quotes Quill for this. That is a level of degradation to which I will not sink." No, of course not. Severus waited. Same principle, though. "Hmph," Severus said, stalking out. He ignored the Sexxeeeeeee that appeared right before he left. The next day, though, he couldn't ignore it. Professor Snape is one sexy man was scripted in horrendous red and gold across the top of his mirror, and try as he might he could not erase it. Other things were also scattered over the surface: yum, hot, a fine specimen, kiss me, Slytherin Sex God, well-hung and fuckable all decorated the edges of the mirror. Do you like it, Professor? printed itself carefully below "well-hung." Severus walked out of the room, grabbed the jar of Floo powder, and called Hypatia. This meant war. "Well, I'm not finding anything," Maria said as small lines of light retreated to her wand. "I can only detect a slight static communication spell of some sort, though not one I've ever seen before. I don't know how this person is making the words appear at all, unless it's literally painted on, which I doubt." "That's what I found too," Severus said. "If someone's practising illegal magic in my bathroom, I'd love to know how." "I highly doubt it's illegal," Hypatia said, still probing at the communication spell. "That's the nice thing about illegal spells, you can usually detect them. If you can't, chances are nobody noticed to ban it, so the spell is still legal." "Or maybe there's really nothing sinister going on," Maria said. "Optimism," Severus replied with as much loathing as he could muster. "I'm sure we'll find him or her eventually, Severus," Hypatia said. "Wait...I think I've got something..." Severus and Maria both looked at her and waited. "Quick-Quotes Quill?" Hypatia asked suddenly. Severus sneered. "He said he was using a version of it to transcribe his speech into the finger-marks I read on this end." "Interesting," Hypatia said. "This person must really not want to reveal his or her identity." "If he or she can make a spell of this calibre, but not transfer his or her voice here...and yet make a spell to print spoken words as letters traced in condensation on this end..." "Yes, it's a deliberate decision not to let you hear his or her voice," Hypatia finished. "Actually, I thought he was using this method because it was the easiest way to talk to me. It never crossed my mind that concealment was intended." Hypatia and Maria ignored him. "Well, it has to be a seventh year or a faculty member," Maria said. "Or a Master of magical theory that managed to get past the Hogwarts wards," Hypatia added. "To stalk him?" "Quite. So, if Severus is really convinced it's a male, that limits our options among the faculty." "Lupin or Flitwick," Severus said. "Or Harry or Alexander." Maria smiled at him vaguely. "They do have some talent." "Potter's too busy being coddled by the werewolf, and Cook's head's further away from here than Sprout's ever was. Other options?" "Leland Lyon, of course," Hypatia said. "Of course, except that he's got that pretty little girlfriend...what's her name, Hypatia?" "Oh, dear. The sharp one with the curly blonde hair..." Hypatia twirled her fingers ineffectually by her hair, demonstrating. "Cele...Cada..." "Calandra," Severus said. "Yes, her. She only took a year of Arithmancy...a shame. Well, besides Leland, the only ones who might have a chance are the Ravenclaws." "They wouldn't be that forward," Maria said. "And those are Gryffindor colours." "I noticed," Severus said. "If you two are satisfied that I am capable of checking my own bathroom, I would appreciate a few ideas for a counter-spell." "Cover up the mirror," Maria said promptly. Severus raised an eyebrow. "Do you really use it?" she asked. "Of course I use it." "Well, then...hmm. If we can't figure out what the spell is, we can't trace it, so any counter-spell or magical response would have to go to whoever you think is casting this. If you're wrong..." "I suppose I'll just have to wait, then," Severus said. "Indeed," Hypatia said. "Sorry we couldn't be of more help." She stood and smiled. "See you at dinner, Severus?" "Of course." He bowed slightly. Maria followed Hypatia out of the room, and Severus closed the doors and the wards behind them. Now...what to do about his voyeur... With an evil smirk, he went back to his bedroom. He searched through his wardrobe until he found an old robe. After walking back to the bathroom, he transfigured the robe into a large, shining Slytherin banner, which he hung on the wall opposite the mirror. Still smirking, he walked out to his office for some peace and quiet before dinner and detentions. I suppose I deserved this, wrote his stalker later that week. "Indeed," Severus said, reaching a hand back to stroke the fabric lovingly. Spare me. "I hardly see why I should spare someone not brave enough to face me who is performing some sort of magic that would probably be illegal if the Ministry paid any attention to it." It's hardly close to illegal. I can't change you at all, only...watch. "Still, this is hardly proper behaviour for a student." Who says I'm a student? "It's even less proper from a professional educator." Who says I'm a teacher? "Remove the writing from my mirror and I will remove the banner. " I suppose. Severus waited, leaning slightly on the edge of the sink. Nothing happened. "I'm waiting." I can't do it till you're gone. "Why not?" No answer. "Being stubborn will only assure my departure," Severus said. So you'll stay if I tell you why? "I did not say that, nor will I." Well then. After a few seconds of curiosity, Severus made his decision. He cast the simple timing spell he usually used for potions and said, "I will stay for a minimum of five minutes if you explain your method." All right. The words I magically painted backwards on a piece of wood, then spelled onto the back of the reflecting surface of my mirror. The communication surface of my mirror lies just behind the silver; the communication surface of yours lies just in front. Anything your mirror reflects is projected onto my mirror. Nothing my mirror reflects shows up on yours, except if it goes through the silver like the words do. This doesn't disturb your wards, since what you perceive as 'your rooms' stops at the glass of the mirror flush with the wall, and your wards reflect that. "Clever," Severus said with a sneer. "Tell me about the sound monitoring." An amplification of what passes through the glass. A bit fuzzy, but it works. "I see. Yet you cannot remove the words with me observing." Unless I want to disturb the spell nexus and have to reset half the enchantment, the only good way to get the words off is to wash the board itself. When I do, it will become quite clear that they were painted on. "So you can paint the words on the wood magically, yet not remove them from the wood magically. I see," Severus said again. Again, I'm not sure what effect that'll have on the enchantment. Severus nodded. "You still have four minutes. What did you wish to speak of?" Wait, I was explaining like you asked me to! "I said I would stay for five minutes. You did not state that the time would start following your explanation." That's not fair. "Did you have something to say, or are we just going to sit here doing nothing for the next three minutes and forty-five seconds." Hmm...well...you could masturbate for me... "You have quite an obsession with masturbation." It's very erotic to watch. Besides, I already explained why I wanted to see you wank. "Well, I hope you have something else to talk about." I could tell you what I want to do to you. "Stalk me, obviously." First I'd run my hands all over that gorgeous body of yours...you'd already be undressed, rock-hard and waiting for me... "Gorgeous. Rock-hard. I am afraid you are quite mistaken about both my appearance and my desires." Then my lips would follow my hands... "Stop," Severus said with as much command as he could muster, not much given that he was still stark-naked with dripping wet (and still greasy) hair. Why? Am I turning you on? "Obviously not," he snapped. Well then. What do you want to talk about? "This is your conversation. You may find a topic." Thanks ever so. The words fogged over. Severus waited. Do you have any promising Potions students? "Not exactly a fount of innovation today, are we?" Look what I have to work with. Severus snorted. "Well. I have a few students who are capable of N.E.W.T-level Potions. Unfortunately, I have far more than those students in the class. One first-year may yet turn into a potion-maker; the rest are already hopeless." You don't have high standards, of course. "I have normal standards. The rest of the educational system has low standards." Obviously. There was another pause. What do you think of Quidditch prospects this year? "Nobody can touch Slytherin. We have more returning members than anyone." The Hufflepuff Chasers are a great team, though. Can your new Keeper handle them? "It won't matter. They have no Seeker to speak of. Your time is half done, by the way." And you do. Right. After a few seconds, Severus said, "You don't have much to talk about." Anything I say will give away who I am or annoy you. I'm trying to find a good mix. Severus raised an eyebrow again. "You're rather averse to revealing your identity. " I don't think you're ready to handle it. "So you are trying to become my lover, yet you do not think I can handle knowing who you are." I'd prefer it if you liked my personality, but I'm not sure you could deal with my identity yet. "You want me to...like you, but you will not tell me anything about yourself for fear of revealing who you are...not what I'd refer to as a well-thought-out plan." I don't have anything better. "I certainly hope not." It's working anyway. "Let me assure you, I have absolutely no feeling of friendship towards you." But you're talking to me. "Mere curiosity." If you say so. The words paused, as if the writer were waiting. "You could tell me more about this communication spell you're using." It wouldn't work if I didn't have a mirror to focus on. "Explain." The spell works on the common reflective surfaces. I could use...I don't know...two buckets of water, but not two identical pieces of wall, for instance. My words are actually a separate spell; I cause the condensation on the back of the silver, then use the Quick-Quotes-type spell to draw in it, but you wouldn't see it if it weren't for the mirrors. "So you could use the water in the toilet to observe me as well." I hadn't thought of that. "I wonder what else you haven't thought of in relation to this." Probably a lot. Then again, I still have a lot of things I haven't shown you yet. "Really." Yes. "I suppose I will get to see these wonders of magical innovation." When I feel like showing you. "Your plan won't be successful if you don't have at least a small amount of strategy behind it." Do you know that I don't? "'When I feel like showing you,'" Severus mocked. I could be hiding my intentions. "That would require guile, and I have seen no evidence of it." Snarky today, aren't we? "Quite." I should have expected it. You usually are. "Usually this keeps people such as yourself away from me." I'm persistent. "I had noticed." I think you'll give in eventually. "I can't imagine a reason for that astounding expectation." How many homosexual men are there at Hogwarts? You have needs just like everyone else. "So you are male, then." Severus nodded to himself. Nice deduction. "You're not endearing yourself to me with your sarcasm." I think I am, actually. You're sarcastic so often, you have to like it in others. "I am always perfectly serious." Of course. So you really think my new spells are "wonders of magical innovation," then? "Yes." Then I can't wait to show you. "I'm afraid you'll have to; your five minutes are up...now." Severus sneered at the mirror and left.
Lupin accosted Severus after lunch later that week. "Want to come watch Harry's first practise with me this afternoon?" Severus gave him a hard glare. "It's Quidditch. It's Potter." Lupin grinned. "Exactly. I'd love to hear your take on it." "You know, I'm unpleasant so people will leave me alone, not so they'll come running for my company," Severus felt compelled to point out. "Yes, but it only works for so long," Lupin said. "I've noticed." Lupin grinned again. "Are you coming or not?" "I could use the entertainment, I suppose." "Good," Lupin said, "because I promised Harry we'd be on hand for any accidents." "You what?" "Oh, don't worry, they're only first- and second-years." Severus glowered and put on his best show of irritated tolerance as they walked out to the pitch. Lupin did not seem affected. Surprisingly, Potter had things fairly well organised when they arrived. The pupils were queued up on the ground with school broomsticks, and he was just telling the first to fly upwards and attempt to catch the Quaffle when he threw it at her. Severus and Lupin climbed the stairs to the teachers' seating and watched from above. Compared to the skill of even the worst House teams, these students were pitiful. Only a fifth of the students, if that, were capable of catching the Quaffle; even fewer could knock it away with a bat (Potter apparently didn't trust them with Bludgers quite yet). Severus could remember a time when even he had been quite a bit better than that. In fact, he'd been a decent Beater in his youth, even playing on the Slytherin team for two years. Now that he was older, of course, he was getting worse every year. He was no match for Potter's amazing grace on a broomstick—not that he'd ever been quite that good, but he could have at least stopped Potter on occasion. Now, he'd be hard-pressed to even guess where Potter was going, let alone get a Bludger there. The students were turning some rather impressive manoeuvres on their broomsticks now. Or at least they were attempting to. A few could manage to turn, at this point. "Not bad," Remus said beside him. Severus quirked an eyebrow. "I've seen approximately five students capable of actually aiming themselves. That would be my definition of 'bad.'" "At least half of them hadn't been on a broom before their first flying lesson, and they've only had...what, four lessons now? That any of them can turn the broom is amazing." "They should have learned that by the end of their first lesson." Lupin leaned forward slightly onto his elbows. "But now they're trying to fly with Harry. It's one thing to have him teaching Transfiguration; they don't associate the Boy Who Lived with changing matches to needles. Seeing him play Quidditch makes them nervous." "A completely unplanned effect, I'm sure," Severus sneered. Giving Severus an odd look, Lupin said, "Harry hates it when people treat him differently." "Does he." On the ground, Potter was dividing the children into four groups. "Rather uneven teams, don't you think, Severus?" Lupin asked. "I suppose Harry didn't get as many players as he wanted from all the Houses." "Quite. Or at least they'd be uneven teams if they were actually teams." Remus furrowed his brow. "What else would they be?" Severus pointed to the smallest group, four of the students who had actually managed a turn. "Seekers." His finger moved to next-smallest group, five who had been able to hit the ball away but who could barely fly. "Keepers." The next-largest group was full of the rest of those capable with a bat. "Beaters." Finally, he pointed to the largest group. "Chasers." "Ah," Lupin said. Potter started the Seeker group flying a simple pattern around the goal hoops at one end of the pitch, then set up a simple drill: he tossed Quaffles to the Beaters, who had to aim for the Keepers, who hit the ball as hard as they could away from themselves, and then the Chasers caught the ball and threw it at the Beaters, who started over. At least, that was the idea. However, since the Beaters couldn't aim to save their lives when they hit the ball at all, and the Keepers had little more success, and the Chasers dropped the ball virtually every time they managed to catch it...well, Severus had many things to amuse him. "Harry's really enjoying himself," Lupin said. He was right; Severus had rarely seen Potter so carefree, even playing Quidditch as a Hogwarts student. The students were responding to his enjoyment, although they were still intimidated by the way he was advertising his fame. Much as Severus didn't want to admit it, Potter had turned into a decent teacher. Of course, he was so severely lacking in other areas...modesty, scholarship...that Severus wasn't terribly disturbed. Lupin erupted into applause next to him, and Severus realised the students had managed a complete loop. Good for the little whelps. Leaning over, Lupin said, "I think that Chaser has some real potential." "It would help if I knew to which Chaser you were referring." "The redheaded Slytherin one." Severus looked. "Ah. Miss Parkinson." "Pansy's little sister?" "Younger cousin." "The hair must have been quite a shock." "I can only imagine." And smirk, he added mentally. Lupin started clapping again, and Severus leaned back, resigned to wasting the next hour on inanities. Another unwanted Gryffindor intruded on Severus that evening. "Can I come in?" Potter asked, poking his head through the door. "I will not stop you," Severus said, "although I can't answer for any resulting bodily harm." Potter paused. "Nice joke," he said finally, walking in. "Was it," Severus said. "Well, I wanted to thank you again for allowing me to run this Quidditch thing." Severus raised an eyebrow; Gryffindors really gave him a facial workout. "Quidditch thing?" "I don't have a better name for it." Potter eyed the sofa. "Mind if I sit down?" "Yes, because that means you're going to stay." "Not long." He sat down. "Well, I didn't have any reason to stop your 'Quidditch thing.' So you may thank my logic." "But thanking your logic is thanking you, isn't it?" "I suppose you had something else to ask." "Well, I do...but it's a bit personal." Severus had to concentrate on not letting the eyebrow creep up his face again; he'd get a cramp if he didn't stop. "And of course my personal life is here for you to inquire about." "You don't have to answer if you don't want to—" Potter caught the look on Severus's face. "Yes, yes, I know, that's obvious. Um, well, you started teaching about my age..." "No, Potter, I was five years younger than you." "Yes. Well. What did you do about, um, romance?" "I find romance a silly institution and I have never engaged in such behaviour." Potter had the gall to look pitying. "You've never had any romance? Oh, I'm sorry, Snape, I didn't realise." "Your sympathy is unnecessary. I have had several lovers, but I find romance appalling." "How did you find anyone while you were working here? Everyone's older than me, and I never have any free time, it seems." "Amazing you've managed Quidditch, then." "I meant I don't have enough time to go down to Hogsmeade or anything." Potter moved an ankle to rest on his opposite knee; Severus envied his flexibility. "And, really, Potter. Professor Lupin and I are only twenty years older than you." "Twenty-one." Potter smirked. "But neither of you seem too terribly interested in me." "All of my lovers have been people I knew first as friends, and who developed into something more. I suggest you work on friendships before you go looking for sex." "All right." Potter made as if to stand, then hesitated. "Does it always hurt this much?" "Clarify that." "Not having anyone. Being alone." Severus considered. "Yes. It does." "Thanks." Potter nodded solemnly and left the room. Severus returned to his book. I had the house-elves leave you a little present. "The mirror?" Yes. You found it? "Quite." Actually, the small hand-mirror was sitting on the edge of the counter, where his stalker couldn't see it. Well, it will set off your wards unless you remove one of them...but I think you might enjoy the spell I put on it. "You want me to willingly resign to having an unknown spell breach my protections." If I'd wanted to do something to you, I would have done it already. "You could have extraordinary patience." I could. The words faded. I thought you wanted to know what other spells I had come up with. "I see." This one doesn't really require a mirror, but I thought I'd use it for consistency's sake. Have I interested you yet? "Not enough to risk the spell going through my wards." You could try using it in a public area—commandeer the prefects' bath, for instance. Of course, there you'd have even fewer wards than you have in your rooms. All you need to take down is the one that prevents magical projections. "That's my most important ward," Severus said. I'd disagree, but I don't feel like getting into it right now. Will you agree to take down that ward so I can try my spell? Severus didn't want to take down any of his protections, but he was also intensely curious. "I will decrease the spread of that ward so it only includes my bedchamber. Should I perceive any threat, I will retreat there immediately." Done. "I shall return shortly." Severus walked out into his study. He could just as easily alter the wards from the bathroom, but his stalker might be able to learn too much about them if he changed them within sight of the mirror. He altered the anti-projection ward to encompass only his bedroom and then returned to the bathroom. "All right. Work your magic." That was funny, actually. Pick up that mirror and hold it by your body; it's only got a four-inch range outward, so make sure it's closer than that. Severus took the wooden-handled mirror and held it next to his upper arm. Goosebumps broke out all over his skin when he felt ghostly fingers run over his arm. They explored carefully, as if memorizing the feel of his skin, though he didn't know why anyone would want to...oh. The fingers were pressing into the flesh now, kneading. He'd forgotten what "relaxed" felt like. You could try this somewhere else, came the words on the mirror. Severus immediately moved the mirror to his chest; fingers rubbed and plucked at the nearest nipple, then were unexpectedly replaced by full lips. A small breath of air escaped his lips in an odd "guuuh" sound. The lips pulled back. Liked that, huh? Severus could feel a breath of air on his skin accompanying the words. Then the lips reapplied themselves, followed by a tongue. Severus pulled the mirror away and moved it down to his prick, which apparently liked the feeling of flesh on his skin, even phantom flesh. This will be a lot easier for me if you press that mirror down a few inches onto your cock. "I don't think so!" Severus said. Just try it. It won't hurt. He'd come this far. Slowly, he brought the glass onto the tip of his prick, then pushed forward. The surface gave like thick porridge, letting him through reluctantly. It tingled slightly, but not terribly, and otherwise felt like nothing at all. He continued forward until he stopped; it wasn't like he'd hit anything, but nonetheless he could go no further. Then lips wrapped his prick, and fingers teased his bollocks, and he gave up trying to understand for the time being. When he'd come and the arousal-induced fuzziness had faded from his brain, he realized he hadn't thought this out quite well enough. His voyeur obviously wanted something from him; no one would desire him now, not for his body and certainly not for his personality. "I suppose you require compensation for this," he said. Well, I'd like reciprocation sometime, but preferably when you know who I am. "What else," he sighed. Nothing else...except maybe the pleasure of your company. "There has to be a price." No price. I told you. The words paused. Till next time, Severus? The mirror cleared. On the off chance that the other man was still listening, Severus said, "Yes." "Have you made any progress?" Maria asked in the staff room one day. "Yes, I think so," Severus replied. "Well, what have you figured out?" "It's a Gryffindor for sure. The right morals as well as the right colours." "We figured that," Maria said. "Yes. And it's definitely a teacher, or at least someone who's spent a lot of time in staff chambers." "Explain." "He knew the glass of the mirror was flush with the wall. It's unusual, and not something you could count on for any type of spell." "I see." She glanced around the staff room, as if checking one more time that they were alone. "So it's Remus or Harry, correct?" "If you're including Potter, you may as well include Hagrid," he said. Maria smiled. "All right, then. Remus, Harry, or Rubeus." "Lupin," Severus said. "Why?" "Can you see Potter or Hagrid doing any kind of magical theory work?" "Harry's been doing well at Transfiguration," Maria said with a little shrug. "Well, good for him. I still don't think he's up to it." "Remus, then." Maria frowned slightly. "And what are you going to do about it?" "Wait till he reveals himself, then see what happens." "An admirable plan," she said. "But I suppose it would be unwise to make any decisions before you know exactly what's going on." "Precisely," Severus said as Potter walked into the room. "Hello, Maria, Snape," he said, heading for the coffee. "How are you?" "Quite well, thank you," Maria said. "And yourself?" "Oh, fine." He glared at the coffee pot, which was empty, before taking a cupful of the ground beans and dumping them in the coffee-maker, which burped happily at him before filling itself with hot water. "Classes going well?" "Yes. Though I'm sure you remember what astronomy was like..." "Best class of all." Potter grinned. "Midnight is much better than nine in the morning." "I agree," Maria said. "Also more useful for astronomy." "Yep." The coffee-maker whistled. "Aren't kettles supposed to do that?" It hooted. "Albus created that," Severus said. "Ah. That would explain it." Potter poured a cup of the steaming coffee and loaded it with enough cream and sugar to make ice cream for every person at Hogwarts. "Can I get either of you a cup?" "No, thanks," Maria said. "All right. See you later, then," Potter said, and left. "I really don't see why you're so hard on him," Maria told Severus. "It's my job," Severus said. "Ah. I see." She smiled. "Don't you have a detention to supervise or something?" "Tired of my company already?" "Yes." "Well then." Severus stood and bowed. "A bientôt." "Indeed," Maria said. Severus let the mirror wander slowly over his body the next time. His voyeur obliged him, licking and nipping at every bit of flesh he could reach through the limited area of the mirror. Severus still hadn't figure out the cost of this; but perhaps if it was Lupin, there wouldn't be a cost. The man was just as old as Severus, and had nearly as many demons. The mouth disappeared from the thin skin on his hip. I think you're ready to meet me. "All right," Severus panted. I'll come down to your rooms. Get dressed so you can answer the door. The condensation disappeared, and the hand-mirror, when Severus touched it, was cold and glassy. He went quickly to his bedroom, where he threw on only his collared vest and his outer robes. They were not as good at concealing his erection as he might have wished, but Lupin already knew what was coming. Severus smirked at the pun. Sooner than expected, there was a knock at the door. Severus opened it. Lupin was standing outside. Severus wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled the larger man into his room. Oddly, Lupin seemed unsure of what to do, so Severus kissed him and started undoing the buttons on his robe. Lupin moaned and pressed closer to Severus, who smiled slightly in victory. When they had finished, Severus rolled over and attempted to wrap himself around Lupin's body. Lupin pulled away. "Look, Severus..." he glanced at the clock. "I've got to supervise a detention in five minutes. I'll see you at dinner, all right?" "All right," Severus said. Lupin smiled a bit crookedly, got dressed quickly, and left. Severus stared at the door for a long moment afterwards, then walked back to the bathroom for his second shower of the day. At least he knew he wouldn't be watched this time. Lupin sat next to him at dinner but didn't say much. Severus felt slightly confused, and continued to be so as Lupin basically ignored him for the next few days. Potter accosted Severus at dinner later that week when Lupin was off somewhere. "Be careful with him, okay?" Potter said. "Be careful with whom?" "Remus, obviously." Potter glared at his food as if it, too, should promise him something. "He's still...I know it's been twelve years, but...the only lover he'd ever had was Sirius, and then Sirius was taken away from him for twelve years, and then they had three more together before he died. There haven't been many lovers since then... He trusts you, but he's still a little unsure." Potter's begging gaze turned to Severus. "So be careful with him, all right?" "Remus Lupin is a grown man, Potter. He can take care of himself." "I know," Potter said. "But we can all use a little help sometimes." "Perhaps," Severus said. "Anyway," Potter said, "I think you'll be good for each other." "It's comforting to know a thirty-year-old man can interpret the love lives of his father's generation." "I'm twenty-eight, thank you," Potter said. "Wonderful. Twenty-eight." "Yes." Severus let the eyebrow creep up. Potter huddled down a bit and glared into his food again. Severus smirked and turned to Hypatia on his other side for some real, stimulating conversation. Severus was just sitting down for a quick late-night read of The Generalised Guide to Gramarye: Projective, Illusory and Mind-Affecting Magics when he heard a tentative knock on his outer door. Curious, he strode out and opened the door. A sheepish-looking Lupin was standing outside. "I've behaved horribly," he said, "can you forgive me?" Severus gave a terse nod and stood aside. Lupin walked in and stood nervously. "It's just that since Sirius, no one has ever really wanted me for more than a one-night stand, and when you asked me to stay afterwards, I panicked. But that was a mistake. I'd really like to pursue something...if you'll have me after the past few days." How many people would come begging to Severus Snape to take them back? "Yes, of course, I understand." The way Lupin's face lit up was very gratifying. "Would you like to stay tonight?" he asked on impulse. Lupin froze, but then smiled a little and relaxed. "I would love to," he said. Snape took his hand and led him back to the bedroom, and it was only after he'd wrapped himself into Lupin's body to sleep that he realized he hadn't read his chapter in the Generalised Guide. He wondered also how something that should have been a quick shag with a person he didn't like turned into a potentially long-term bedmate. But neither seemed important in the orgasm- and sleep-induced haze, so he kissed the soft skin of Lupin's chest before drifting off and didn't worry any more. "So it was Remus after all, then?" Hypatia asked. "So it seems," Severus replied. "Did he explain the mirror spells yet?" "I think he'd like to keep some things secret, at least this early in the relationship." Hypatia leaned back, smiling. "So you haven't asked him." "That's one way to put it, I suppose." "You're not going to run him off by asking questions." "I wouldn't be so sure of that. He still barely talks to me, at least before or after...anything." "Don't want to know!" she said quickly, holding up a hand. "I can imagine you're celibate if you don't tell me otherwise." "Thanks," Severus said. "Sorry. It's just...two men..." "Or men at all," Severus suggested. Hypatia turned a lovely shade of strawberry. "Well..." "Sometimes I wonder if any of us are heterosexual." "Minerva and Albus." "All right, that was truly unsolicited." "Always a pleasure. And perhaps you'll get Lupin to talk to you?" "Perhaps." Severus looked up as the door opened; it was Alexander, surprisingly foliage-free. "I should probably be on my way. It was lovely talking to you, Hypatia." "Till dinner, Severus." She turned her attention to Alexander, who was meandering towards the coffee. "Harry made it today, Alexander, it should be drinkable." "Yes, yes indeed..." Alexander said as the door closed. Severus walked down to the dungeons, terrifying a group of third-years for amusement on the way. Lupin was not around, so Severus settled in, prepared to douse essays in red ink as usual. The door slammed open, and Snape looked up. Lupin was standing in the doorway. "Your rooms, now," he said. Severus quirked an eyebrow. "Now!" Lupin said. A quick glance at Lupin's groin revealed his intentions...not that they had ever been in doubt. Severus deliberately wiped his quill point, set it carefully on its stand, and screwed the cap tightly on his ink bottle. Only then did he get up and lead Lupin to his chambers. As soon as the door was closed and the wards reset, Lupin jumped on him and started throwing their clothes haphazardly around the room. Severus grabbed Lupin's hips and ground forward; the animal moan this inspired caused Severus to smash his lips to Lupin's. Lupin pushed him backwards, still disrobing both of them, until they were in the bedroom. Severus kept his lips attached to Lupin's as the other man bore him down onto the bed and fucked him. It was only near the end, with their pace speeding and Severus getting more and more strained by the position, that he let Lupin go to sit up straight and really thrust. After they had both come, Lupin stood up almost immediately. "I've got class," he said apologetically. "I just had to have you, though." "Of course," Severus said. "Um, see you later, then." Lupin walked out, still pulling on his shirt and outer robes. Severus watched him go, then slowly dressed himself and returned to his office. A few days and a few night visits later, Lupin showed up again during Severus's office hours, this time sporting a positively evil grin. "Yes?" Severus said, raising an eyebrow. "Well, I've got the class plans for this next full moon." "I've managed just fine twice, Lupin, I don't need to go over this in detail." "Of course not." He grinned. "I figured something out, though...you're so much younger than most of the people in our year that I almost didn't realize..." Severus waited. "You're turning fifty this year!" Lupin said triumphantly. "Let the heavens rejoice," Severus said. "We need to have a party, of course." "I think not." Severus folded his hands on the table. "I've let forty-nine birthdays pass without celebration, and I feel no need to break the tradition." "Oh, come, Severus, everyone deserves a little attention sometimes." "All the same, I'd prefer that my birthday passed with a minimum of celebration." "What, are you worried about getting older?" When Severus didn't respond, Lupin laughed. "I'm older than you are by eight months, and I'm hardly fossilised. There's no reason to be worried." "It's not aging I'm worried about, precisely," Severus said. "Then what?" "Not being young any more." Lupin raised an eyebrow; obviously he'd been spending too much time in the dungeons. "Isn't that the same thing?" "No. I could care less about getting older, but the fact that my body is dilapidating is vaguely worrisome." "Well...whatever you think, Severus." Lupin smiled. "It's not so bad, really. I haven't spontaneously combusted yet, have I?" "Depends on your definition." Severus leered. Lupin looked as if he just barely held back a flush. "Yes. Well. We'll keep working on it—you really ought to have some sort of celebration." "We." "Yes. Well. I'm sure Harry would be willing to help me plan something—" "No." "No?" "Potter is going to have absolutely no part in this. Neither will you, for that matter. I would like my fiftieth birthday to go by with no acknowledgement. It will be miserable enough alone." "Not alone, Severus," Lupin said. Severus merely glared. "I'm glad to hear you're happy with Remus, Severus," Minerva said. "I didn't realize you had heard about that." "Well, the whole school knows." Severus aborted his sip of tea. "I don't know anyone that would have told them." "With Remus disappearing to your quarters every day? Someone was bound to notice." "Wonderful." Severus glanced at Albus's somnambulant portrait, which opened an eye and twinkled at him. Severus snapped his gaze back to Minerva. "So, tell me what the rest of the school thinks of this." "Most of them think Remus is insane." Severus snorted. "They're probably right." "And most of them think you're a very lucky man." "How curious that no one has a problem with the fact that we are both men." Minerva sipped her tea. "There were people at first who took issue with that, yes. But Harry let it be known that he was also homosexual, and that seemed to stop everyone. He still has quite a bit of influence." "And I'm sure he simply hated having to use it." "Of course," Minerva said, looking at him oddly. "He really dislikes being the centre of attention." "Does he," Severus said. "Yes." She glanced out the window. "His Quidditch idea is going well." "I believe his technical term is the 'Quidditch thing.'" "I see." Minerva chuckled a bit. "Well, his 'Quidditch thing' seems to be enjoyed by the students—as I'm sure your Slytherins have mentioned." "Miss Parkinson brought it to my attention, yes." "Frankly, Severus, I was surprised you allowed it. It fits into the schedule, but only barely. And it's not the kind of thing you'd ordinarily endorse." "Potter found me when I was in an unusually good mood." Severus took a sip of tea, as if to make a point. Minerva chuckled a bit more. "Forgive me, Severus, if that is hard to picture." "An unusually better mood, then." "I see." The same damned smile was still quirking the corners of her mouth. "Well, I'm sure he's very happy, and it's given him something to occupy his time. So thank you." "None required," Severus said. "Of course." Minerva poured more tea without even asking him. "Was there anything else you needed to speak to me about?" "Nothing else since last week." "Well, perhaps we can just sit here and have tea together, then, Severus? I feel like I barely see you." Severus resisted the urge to tell her that that was deliberate. "I heard from Albus the other day," Minerva said. "Oh. I assume he's doing well." "Quite. The Riviera really agrees with him. Of course, I worry a bit with him out in the sun so much, but he assures me he's doing fine." Severus blanched. "He's not...going about...in a bathing suit..." "Of course," Minerva said, looking puzzled. "His usual paisley." Trying not to think about the implications of the "usual" in that statement, Severus said, "I imagine he's found something interesting to do with his time." "He's taking a break. After the war and the rebuilding, he really needs it. And he doesn't have that much time left..." She was looking rather misty-eyed. Severus took a long drink of tea, trying to finish quickly, and only succeeded in burning his tongue. "Well. He's been corresponding with some of his friends and relaxing. I'm sure it's good for him." "Indeed," Severus said. "Has he been writing you much?" Oh, just a veritable novel every other week. "A bit." "He does love his sealing wax," Minerva said. Severus thought about that a moment, then took an even longer drink of tea. He could regenerate his taste buds; he wasn't sure about the brain cells. "Well, I really should get back to my paperwork." "Oh—yes, of course," Severus said, standing. "Thank you for the tea, Minerva." "Always a pleasure, Severus." She stood as well, heading to her desk. "Till next week, then?" "Indeed. Good-bye, Minerva." "Bye, Severus!" she called cheerfully. Severus barely managed to avoid running to the door, repeatedly informing himself that he would not think of naked Albus.
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